| FUNNY FAT JOKES & FAT HUMOR |
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FAT IS FUNNY: [Pretty fat!] (An old fat joke from once upon a time.) NOTE: FAT is a description, not an insult. The original mean version: Hey man, is she pretty? Yeah, she’s pretty… FAT IS FUNNY! I don't think fat is pretty. If I saw some big fat leopard walking through the jungle, I'd start laughing. Or if I was at the races, and I saw some 150-lb. greyhound running against the other lean greyhounds, I'd start laughing too. It doesn't seem very natural. It doesn't look healthy. It doesn't look sleek or stealth. It looks funny. I think that's why people throughout history have laughed at fat people. They're round and funny-looking. Attributed to KIRSTIE ALLEY If this FAT IS FUNNY silly dilly ditty offended you, I have some bad news for you: YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT! THE GOOD NEWS: I can help you. I am a former physical education teacher and I know whereof what I speak. ASK ME HOW. Diet coach DANIEL L. WORONA “RARE BIRD” When I was a little tyke, I was so skinny I make Twiggy look fat, can you imagine that? Fat may be funny, but one thing is sure, FAT IS NOT HEALTHY! DANIEL L. WORONA "RARA AVIS" Daniel Worona’s LAUGH IT OFF DIET: IT’S A FUNNY WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT. PLEASE BE ADVISED: Only smart, good-looking people will enjoy this DIET HUMOR, DIET JOKES, CHOCOLATE HUMOR and FAT HUMOR website. YOU ARE HERE! So that means YOU ARE SMART!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! MORE GOOD NEWS: After you have laughed off thousands and thousands of calories and laughed off 10 or 20 pounds reading my 24 webpages of DIET HUMOR, CHOCOLATE HUMOR, and FAT HUMOR you’ll be LOOKING-GOOD and GOOD-LOOKING, too. And only SUPERSMART PEOPLE will read the whole FAT IS FUNNY webpage. You will DIE(t) LAUGHING!!! I promise. FAT JOKES GALORE AND MORE!!! WELCOME TO THE WORLD’S FATTEST DIET HUMOR, FAT HUMOR and FAT JOKES COLLECTION!!! It is a lifelong collection of more than 65 years. I have collected thousands and thousands of diet jokes and other humor related to dieting, weight loss, food and fitness. I am a former physical education teacher and I know whereof what I speak. A PEERLESS DIET HUMOR COLLECTION compiled by DANIEL L. WORONA (PEERLESS: without equal; unrivaled.) FUNNY FAT JOKES: I want to share this lifelong collection of DIET HUMOR and FAT JOKES with YOU. To all my ¨calorie challenged¨ friends: I apologize beforehand if I offend you in any weigh, shape, or form. Daniel L. Worona (This "APOLOGY" is copyright of Daniel L. Worona) SKINNY DEFINITION: If fatty means "full of fat," shouldn't skinny mean "full of skin"? You will find some "mild" FAT HUMOR, FAT JOKES, FAT PUNS, FUNNY FAT MOTIVATION AND INSPIRATION SAYINGS and FAT QUOTES with the purpose of encouraging you to live a healthy lifestyle. Daniel Worona, diet humorist, diet guru, anti-obesity activist, and fitness expert, wishes you a HEALTHIER and WELL-THIER you!!! If you overly sensitive to fat jokes, you may want to skip this page and go skip some rope. This Web page consists of two parts. In the first half, Daniel Worona is "dead serious" and he will SHOCK-IT-TO YOU!!! The second half is the funny stuff. THE SCARE-THE-FAT-OFF-YOU DIET by Daniel Worona People who are fat ("overweight", if you prefer) are more likely to: 1. Put undue strain on their heart, knees and other parts of their body. 2. High blood pressure is found more frequently in fatties. 3. Chubbies are at higher risk of type 2 diabetes. 4. Danger! Danger! Danger! Fat people break more chairs. Blah, blah, blah. YAWN! Daniel Worona went on and on ad nauseum. NOTE: If you lose weight, your risk for these conditions is reduced. Daniel "WOR" Worona’s LAUGH IT OFF DIET: A compilation of thousands and thousands of DIET HUMOR SAYINGS, DIET JOKES and FAT HUMOR and growing fatter every day. HEALTH NOTE FOR ALL YOU INTERNET ADDICTS FROM DAN DAN THE MUSCLE MAN: SIT UP STRAIGHT!!! DIET AND HEALTH SECRET: DIET, HEALTH AND GOOD POSTURE: SIT UP STRAIGHT. WHY OH WHY? Oh, gosh! My vital organs are being squashed! DON’T SLOUCH ON THE COUCH! Never slouch, as doing so compresses the lungs, and your other vital organs are being squashed. WORIGINAL ORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA
FUNNY FAT JOKE: A fat lady says to Big Bertha: I have had it with dieting... I lost two pounds last week and nobody noticed. Send me a FUNNY WEIGHT LOSS JOKE and you will lose weight instantly. Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com. |
FAT JOKES
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FUNNY FAT HUMOUR ONE LINER IF WEIGHT IS A NUMBER, FAT PUN/ FAT RIDDLE: Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A FAT PERSON? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS. ("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!! Don't be a FATHEAD!!!)
NEW RANDOM JOKE: Yo' mama is so fat, she could fall down and wouldn't even know it.
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FUNNY FAT KID JOKES
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FUNNY FAT QUOTE: IF GOD WANTED US TO GO ON DIETS, HE WOULD HAVE GIVEN US WILLPOWER. HILARIOUS DIET RUBBER STAMP: Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? YO MAMA IS SO FAT, SHE MAKES RICHARD SIMMONS LOSE HIS ENTHUSIASM. THE WORLD'S FUNNIEST FAT GIRL SAYS JOKE: FAT GIRL SEZ: Well, it's not my fault God blessed me with a healthy appetite. DIET AND FATTIE DAFFYNITIONS: FUNNY FAT GIRL YOLO JOKES: BRITISH FAT JOKE: TEA IS THE GATEWAY DRUG TO BISCUITS. FUNNY FAT HUMOR: Q: Which movement is the only movement without movement? A: The Fat Acceptance Movement. LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES:
FUNNY FAT JOKE: What is the name for a fat bee? Chub-bee. What do you call an even fatter bee? O-bees. FAT GIRL HUMOR: I wanted to lose 10 pounds this year. Only 16 to go. FAT AMERICANS JOKE: What is the only French word fat Americans know? Buffet. FAT WOMAN DIETER JOKE: Sometimes I go into the fitting room with jeans three sizes too big so I can feel what it's like to succeed at a diet. ABDOMINAL JOKE: A: Abnormal. BRITISH FAT PUN: Q: What do you call a chubby British man? A: A full English. What's in a full English breakfast? A: Beans, toast, mushrooms, tomatoes, potatoes, bacon, eggs, black pudding. FAT HUMOR: Diet Coke: Making fat people feel better about ordering two Big Macs and a large fry since 1982. HIDE YOUR FAT TIP:
A: By joining a fitness protection program. SHE’S SO FAT JOKE: She's so fat, she fell down and rocked herself to sleep trying to get up! FAT HUMOR: A: The body of a god. To bad it’s Buddha. FAT INSULTS: If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that! Fat people are lucky - they get to eat whatever they want and not worry about getting fat. OBESITY JOKE: Doctor: Obesity has only one treatment. Indian man: Which is..? Doctor: Every day, you eat one roti. Indian man: Is it to be eaten after or before a roti? CALORIES HUMOR: NUTRITIONIST: You should eat 1200 calories a day. FAT GUY: Okay and how many at night? FUNNY FAT JOKE: FOUR CHIN COOKIE PUN: Q: Which cookie do the fat people love? A: Four chin cookies. YOU’RE NOT FAT: FACEBOOK FAT JOKE: Facebook memories are a great way to see how fat you've gotten. BRITISH FAT JOKE: Fat people suffer from their feet... their feet won't stay out of the chip shop. NO MAKE FUN PUN: We shouldn't make fun of fat people because they already have enough on their plate. LAZY FAT MAN JOKES: I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym again today. That’s nine years in a row now. FAT MAN SELF-DEPRECATION JOKE: LAZY FAT MAN JOKES: My 6-pack is very precious to me. That’s why I protect it with a layer of fat.
WARNING TO ALL YOU FATTIES: Don' believe me? "JUST YOU WEIGHT!!!" Diet guru: DAN DAN THE DIET HUMOR MAN (Daniel Worona). DIET JOKES GALORE AND MORE... LOL FAT JOKES FOR KIDS A: YOU PAY THE ICE CREAM MAN TO KEEP ON DRIVING. LAUGH OUT LOUD... YO MAMA'S SO FAT THAT WHEN SHE WENT TO DANIEL WORONA'S WEIGHT LOSS CAMP, THERE WAS NO SPACE LEFT FOR ANYONE ELSE!!! FUNNY YO MOMMA SO FAT JOKES ... YO MOMMA'S SO FAT HER BELLY JIGGLE IS THE FIRST EVER PERPETUAL MOTION MACHINE. OVERWEIGHT QUOTES & JOKES: I'M NOT OVERWEIGHT, I'M JUST NINE INCHES TOO SHORT. Daniel Worona's LAUGH IT OFF DIET: LAUGH YOUR HEAD OFF and LAUGH YOUR FAT OFF at the same time. OBESITY IS A DYING "WEIGH" OF LIFE. (Please eat sensibly.) ANOREXIA IS A DYING "WEIGH" OF LIFE. (Please eat sensibly.) YOU KNOW YOU'RE FAT WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down. FUNNY MOTIVATION AND INSPIRATION SAYINGS "I'm allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat." "Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork." English proverb FAT RIDDLE I was born a fat baby on the first day of the year. Experience: Daniel Worona "RARA AVIS" ("Rare Bird") is a diet guru and fitness expert. He is a retired physical education teacher and personal trainer (They didn't call him DAN DAN THE MUSCLE MAN for nothing). His parents were both "health nuts" and taught him well... wellness. Needless to say, he is a published author, wordsmith, linguist and humorist. He is looking for a literary agent and major publisher for his collection of thousands and thousands of DIET HUMOR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES. Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com. I am always happy to receive FUNNY DIET SPOOFS, FUNNY OVERWEIGHT SAYINGS, HILARIOUS FAT LIMERICKS & POEMS, DIET & FAT SATIRE, OBESITY JOKES, ANTI-OBESITY JOKES, FAT JOKES & FAT HUMOR. Not to mention SKINNY and UNDERWEIGHT JOKES and OBESITY HUMOR... you get the message. FAT EUPHEMISMS & SYNONYMS: FULL-BODIED. She's NO SLENDERELLA. GRAVITATIONALLY CHALLENGED. AMPLE. PLUMP. BIG BONED. EATING DISORDER HUMOR & JOKES: Eating disorders effect tons of Americans. FAT GUYS RIDDLE: Riddle: There are two fat guys under an umbrella without either one of them getting wet. How can that be? A: It was not raining. FUNNY FAT PEOPLE JOKES: A humorous weight loss memoir: I'M WITH FATTY by EDWARD UGEL 1. BEN & JERRY'S ICE CREAM: The package description read, They had me at "sweet cream." 2. I'm haunted by mirriors. Mirrors are like Kryptonite to a fat person. I do not have a friend in the world to help me get published, EXCEPT YOU. Why do I need a publisher and a literary agent?: Because... I COULDN'T SELL A LIFEBOAT ON THE TITANIC, however, I am the foremost DIET HUMOR collector in the world. My area of expertise is collecting DIET HUMOR, not publishing. COPYRIGHT by DANIEL L. WORONA "Rara Avis" ("Rare Bird"). ONLY READ THIS IF YOU ARE SMART: You will find some YO MAMA SO FAT JOKES down yonder. PLEASE READ ON. Please note: COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: If any of these diet humor sayings and/or images are in breach of copyright, I will willingly remove them and/or give proper credit. NOTICE OF COPYRIGHT: You may borrow up to a maximum of fifteen (15) sayings from Daniel L. Worona’s DIET HUMOR Web site for your Web site PROVIDED you attach an active link back to this Web site: (danworona.50megs.com). If you are repeating a DIET HUMOR SAYING from this website, give me credit. THANK YOU VERY MUCH: I thank all the kind people out there in cyberspace who have been giving me credit when when they use material from this DIET HUMOR Web site. Daniel Worona WARNING!!!: For those who continue to steal from this DIET HUMOR Web site without giving Daniel Worona proper credit, you will be bombarded with CALORIE BOMBS, GUT BOMBS and FAT BOMBS.
BAD KARMA WILL GET YA!!! (JUST YOU "WEIGHT"!!!) LEGAL NOTICE:
Thank you very much,
Daniel l. Worona FUNNY FAT DEFINITION: UNHEALTHY: What thin people call you when you are fat and fat people call you when you are thin. OVEREATING & EATING DISORDER QUOTES: I have no idea how much I weigh because I can't weigh myself naked. Without my glasses I can't see the scale. I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people. PLASTIC SURGERY JOKES: "Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills." — Dolly Parton "I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso." — Rita Rudner BIG FAT TRUTH JOKE: YO MAMA IS SO FAT, SHE HAD A HEART ATTACK AND DIED. PLEASE NOTE: My FAT JOKES are meant to encourage you to live a healthy lifestyle. This is not a "mean" DIET HUMOR website. PLEASE NOTE: It is NOT my intention to hurt anyone's feelings, rather, my goal is to encourage everyone to live a HEALTHY LIFESTYLE!!! Wanted: FUNNY FAT ONE-LINERS, FAT JOKES, FAT HUMOR, FAT LIMERICKS, FAT POEMS, FAT RIDDLES, FAT PUNS, FAT DEFINITIONS, FAT FITNESS JOKES, FAT SATIRE, FAT PARODY, FAT SPOOFS, FAT COMEDY, FAT COMEDIAN JOKES. You get the message. Please e-mail me. FAT COMEDY: Who are your favorite "fat comedians"? E-mail me. To all my ¨calorie challenged¨ friends: I apologize if I offended you in any weigh, shape, or form. Daniel L. Worona (This "APOLOGY" is copyright of Daniel L. Worona)PLEASE NOTE: My FAT JOKES are meant to encourage you to live a healthy lifestyle. This is not a "mean" DIET HUMOR website. PLEASE NOTE: It is NOT my intention to hurt anyone's feelings, rather, my goal is to encourage everyone to live a HEALTHY LIFESTYLE!!! TO BELITTLE IS TO BE LITTLE. WORST-CASE SCENARIO: DIET HUMOR WEBSITE: danworona.50megs.com If for some reason my lifelong collection of umpteen thousand DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES is never published, it will probably end up in a trash can. Who loses? Not me! YOU DO!!! BIG-TIME!!! Why? Because I have had a ton of fun and a ton of laughs collecting it. Do you want to enjoy my umpteen DIET HUMOR and DIET JOKES collection? You will when I am published!!! LAUGH IT OFF DIET. IT'S A FUNNY WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT. COPYRIGHT by DANIEL L. WORONA "Rara Avis" ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This is a 65-year plus collection and compilation of umpteen thousand DIET HUMOR sayings. IT IS A ONE-OF-A-KIND COLLECTION! ONLINE SINCE THE 1990s. FAT JOKES: Yo mama is so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost. FAT ELEPHANT AND FAT MONKEY JOKE: A man sees a fat man sitting in a train cabin. Taunting, he asks: "Is this cabin for elephants only?" The fat man humbly replies: "No! Even monkeys like you can sit!" FAT IS WHERE IT'S AT! Yo mama is so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her. FAT POLICEMAN JOKE: What not to say to a fat policeman: I thought you had to be in shape and good physical condition to be a police officer. GET RID OF UGLY FAT FAST!!! RIDDLE: What's the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fat? Divorce him. [Stay loose, silly goose.] YO MAMA SO FAT… Yo mama so fat it took nationwide 3 years to get on her side. THIS IS A HOBBY DIET HUMOR WEBSITE. YOU ARE SAFE. I AM NOT SELLING ANYTHING. My E-mail address is: dworona@yahoo.com Please include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread. Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me. PLEASE NOTE: My YAHOO E-MAIL ADDRESS is 100% SECURE. The connection to the YAHOO server is encrypted. Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com. RE: E-MAILING DAN WORONA.
Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com. If you want to contact me, YOU WILL HAVE TO TYPE MY E-MAIL ADDRESS IN MANUALLY. (or do a COPY & PASTE) My E-mail address is: “dworona@yahoo.com” without the quotes. MY INIMITABLE DIET HUMOR, CHOCOLATE HUMOR AND FAT HUMOR COLLECTION IS SECOND TO NONE. NO ONE, MYSELF INCLUDED, CAN MATCH IT! IF I HAD TO START FROM SCRATCH TOMORROW, I COULD NOT DUPLICATE THIS INIMITABLE COLLECTION. THIS COLLECTION INCLUDES THOUSANDS’ OF ORIGINAL DIET HUMOR SAYINGS, DIET WORD PLAYS AND DIET JOKES, CHOCOLATE HUMOR AND FAT HUMOR BY DANIEL WORONA. NOTICE OF COPYRIGHT: If you borrow from this DIET HUMOR Web site, at least have the decency to give DANIEL L. WORONA his due credit. LEGAL NOTICE: NOTE: Any material and/or DIET HUMOR / HUMOUR by Daniel L. Worona that you borrow from this website (danworona.50megs.com) may only be used for "NON-COMMERCIAL" purposes. Thank you very much, Daniel L. Worona LAUGH IT OFF DIET. IT'S A FUNNY WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT. COPYRIGHT Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis" ("Rare Bird"). (Online since: June 7, 1999.) HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: PLEASE ADD A HOT (ACTIVE) LINK TO MY DIET HUMOR WEBSITE ON YOUR BLOG, WEBSITE, or SOCIAL MEDIA. THANK YOU! DAN WORONA YO MAMA SO FAT… JOKES: IF THESE OFFEND YOU, PLEASE DO NOT READ THEM. DICTIONARY.COM Yo' Mama is so fat, she took up pages 41 - 43 in her school yearbook. Yo mama's so poor she went to McDonalds and put a shake on lay-a-way. Yo mama's is so fat, when she goes outside with a yellow raincoat on, people yell, "Taxi!". Yo mama's got so many chins that when she burps, her face ripples. Yo mama's got so many chins, she has to use a bookmark to find her mouth. Yo mama's so fat, she got baptized at Sea World. Yo mama's is so fat, she wore Guess jeans and the answer popped out. Yo mama's so fat she has more rolls then a bakery Yo mama's so fat that when we went out to the restaurant she looked at the menu and said sounds good. Yo mama's so fat she needs one barstool for each butt cheek. Yo mama's so fat when she steps on a scale it says, "One at a time please." Yo mama's so fat, when I swerved to avoid her in the street I ran outta gas. Yo mama's so fat, when she wears her B.V.D.s they spell boulevard! Yo mama's so fat, she's got more nooks and crannies than an English Muffin. Yo mama's so fat, she's got more Chins than a Chinese phone book. Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu. Yo mama's so fat, after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party. Yo mama's so old when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick. Yo mama's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear 'Caution! Wide Turn'. Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up. Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops. Yo mama's so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food. Yo mama's so fat, when she wears high heels, she strikes oil. MOST PEOPLE AREN'T SMART ENOUGH TO READ THIS WHOLE FAT IS FUNNY WEBPAGE. BUT YOU JUST DID. CONGRATULATIONS! THE END, MY FRIEND.
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