The easiest way to find this DIET HUMOR Web site is to search "diet humor" or YAHOO / GOOGLE "Daniel Worona" and you will get the "HOT" link to this Web site.
Diet humor Web address: danworona.50megs.com
CHUBBY GIRL SAYS: I’m not a doctor, but I know that adding cheese to anything makes it an antidepressant.
Male elephant as a female elephant passes by says, “Wow! She’s a perfect 264-286-327!”
Diet guru Daniel L. Worona says; “Your lips may lie, but your hips don’t!
What do we want?
A cure for obesity.
When do we want it?
CHRISTMAS SEASON DIET HUMOR DITTY AND IT AIN'T PRETTY:
'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS:
Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips
were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips
Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care
in hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.
While Mama in her my girdle and I in chin straps
had just settled down to sugar-borne naps.
When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash
tore open the icebox then threw up the sash.
The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow
sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.
When what to my wandering eyes should appear:
a marzipan Santa with eight chocolate reindeer!
That huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick
I knew in a second that I'd wind up sick.
The sweet-coated Santa, those sugared reindeer
I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear was:
On Pritzker, on Stillman, on weak one, on TOPS and
a Weight Watcher dropout from sugar detox.
From the top of the scales to the top of the hall
now dash away pounds now dash away all.
Dressed up in Lane Bryant from my head to nightdress
my clothes were all bulging from too much excess.
My droll little mouth and my round little belly
they shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly.
I spoke not a word but went straight to my work
ate all of the candy then turned with a jerk.
And laying a finger beside my heartburn
I gave a quick nod toward the bedroom I turned.
I eased into bed, to the heavens I cry
if temptation's removed I'll get thin by and by.
And I mumbled again as I turned for the night
in the morning I'll starve... 'til I take that first bite!
CHRISTMAS DIET JOKE:
Christmas is just plain weird.
What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree in your living room eating candy and snacks out of your socks?
A FUNNY "WOR":
YOU HAVE ENTERED THE "WOR" WAR ZONE
"WOR" GOES TO WAR OVER DIET HUMOR!!!
DECLARATION OF "WOR"
By Daniel "Wor" Worona
I will no longer add the "Primo" (Best of the Best) DIET HUMOR or CHOCOLATE HUMOR to this Web site until my full DIET HUMOR and CHOCOLATE HUMOR collection of thousands of DIET HUMOR and DIET JOKE sayings is properly published in book form.
DIET WAR: At this point it is ME against the world. I do not have any connections in the publishing industry (or anywhere else for that matter).
If you can help me to get published or offer a suggestion, please e-mail me. Daniel Worona's e-mail can be found at the bottom of this webpage.
DIET AND HEALTH PUN
by DANIEL WORONA
ILL CHOICES = ILL CONSEQUENCES.
I repeat:ILL CHOICES EQUALS ILL CONSEQUENCES.
I wish you, one and all, A “WELL-THY” LIFE.
WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA
A WOMAN IS A DIET WAITING TO HAPPEN.
SLIMMING HUMOR / HUMOUR:
LITTLE AND OFTEN DOES NOT MEAN A TRIP TO THE FRIDGE EVERY HALF HOUR.
SLIM’S SLIMMING JOKE:
My girl has the physique of a greyhound.
Not the slim athletic dog... The bus!
SLIM CHANCE DIET MUSING:
My friend asked me, "Are you on a diet? You look so slim! What's your secret?!"
I said, "Poverty."
FAST WOMAN JOKE:
Looking in the mirror I thought I looked great at 30. Long silky hair, beautiful blue eyes, pert breasts, firm abs, long slim legs.
I wondered how I would look at 60, but then I thought it might be dangerous at that speed.
SLIMMING JOKE? RIDDLE? or POEM?:
It´s YOUR turn!!! SEND ME ONE!!!
FUNNY WEIGHT LOSS TEAM NAMES:
Muffin Top Stoppers
FUNNY DIET TEAM & SLIMMING TEAM NAMES:
Thin to Win
Good Bye Lovehandles
WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE?
Diet guru and diet humorist Daniel L. Worona not only makes you laugh, he also makes you think!!!
1. Daniel L. Worona advises you: DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ... and only half of what you see.
2. "The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you can never know if they are genuine."
3. IF YOU BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ, YOU BETTER NOT READ.
4. YES, INDEED! TAKE HEED WHEN YOU READ!!!
-Woriginal original by Daniel L. Worona
DANIEL WORONA "HONEST DAN" is also a bit of a philosopher. His nearly 75 years of wisdom can be boiled down to one sentence: Boys and girls,
ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH!
(Then run like hell!!!).
WORIGINAL ORIGINAL by DANIEL WORONA
(PLEASE NOTE: My name is not Author Anonymous.)
("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!! Don't be a FATHEAD!!!)
NO BALONEY, MAHONEY!
HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT WITHOUT DIETING!!!
by Coach Daniel L. Worona
When you follow Daniel Worona's healthy eating lifestyle, weight loss is an automatic side effect.
1. ADIOS LOVE-HANDLES!
2. WHITTLE YOUR MIDDLE!
3. REDUCE YOUR PROFUSE CABOOSE!
NUTRITION AND FITNESS COACH: DANIEL L. WORONA
FUNNY CLEAN JOKES ABOUT DIETING:
Q: WHAT DO SEVEN DAYS OF DIETING DO?
A: THEY MAKE ONE WEAK (WEEK).
Q: HOW CAN YOU KEEP FROM GETTING A SHARP PAIN IN YOUR EYE WHEN YOU DRINK DIET SHAKES?
A: TAKE THE SPOON OUT OF THE GLASS.
ENGLISH LESSON QUESTION:
How come you can drink a drink, but not food a food?
NEWBIE JOKES JEST 4U:
OLD AGE JOKE:
MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT.
He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time.
- Chinese Proverb